People Always Know (#1)

People know what they're doing--they always do. They know what they are up to, what their motives are and have an intended outcome in mind when acting out their behaviors. I learned this lesson the hard way at the mercy of people who were supposed to care for me and my well-being. Not only did they not do this, but they scarred me--quite possibly for the rest of my life. I suffer from PTSD all on account of lies, falsehoods and misplaced trust. It hurts me to the core--even more so knowing that people know what they are doing, they always do.

To get to this story, we have to go backwards in time to my very first boyfriend, Nate the Snake. I was 20 years old when I met him and was VERY inexperienced with boys (meaning those who pretended to be men). He was SO romantic. He wined and dined me for over three months. He took me to the beach and prepared this lovely meal. It was all very romantic. I had never had anybody shed that much attention on me before!

Yes, I put out. My first time! I thought he loved me. We would talk on the phone for hours on end; he told me he loved me and I reciprocated. I loved him, too. I thought he was the star to my universe. And then the end of summer came. And then he dumped me. He left me a dress and a cassette tape that ended with the song "Bye Bye Miss American Pie." And so much was the end to my first major romance. I had no clue people could be so cruel. But, like I said, people know what they're doing...they always do.

And herein is where the story gets good. Oh you'll have to wait until next week to get to that point. I promise, it's novel worthy. VERY juicy...but you'll have to wait for more until next week. See you on Sunday!


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